Appreciation Builds
Influence
If
you want to build influence with other people, to create deeper, trusting,
mutually beneficial relationships, you must show appreciation. Consider when
you’ve been on the receiving end of uncommon appreciation—when someone has made
you feel appreciated and special. What was the impact of that act of
appreciation on the relationship? How did you feel about that person? How do
you feel now about the impact that person has had on your life?
Appreciation
Motivates
There
is a major mismatch in how much employees value appreciation and how much their
employers recognize it as important. Studies have shown that employees
consistently place “appreciation” as the number one thing that influences their
motivation. Yet their employers, place it as number eight, below wages, job
security, opportunities for promotion, and even discipline. This mismatch
causes a huge disparity, between the level of appreciation employees need and
the actual appreciation, offered by leaders within the organization.
Think
about the people who could support you the most in your goals and in creating
your ideal life. How do you appreciate them? What kind of impact could an
increase in appreciation have on their desire to be a member of your support
team?
Individualize your
appreciation for the most impact
In
order to have the most impact when you practice appreciation, consider the way
in which the individual likes to be appreciated. Each person has a dominant way
in which their brain takes in information and processes it—auditory, visual,
and kinesthetic. If you are attempting to show appreciation to someone by
telling them thank you, yet they are dominantly a visual person and need to see
it, your “thank you” won’t have the impact that it could.
Gary
Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, suggests that you observe how the
other person shows appreciation or gives love to understand better which
“language” they prefer. You can also ask a question like, “When have you felt
the most loved in your life? Could you describe that to me? What did the other
person do that made you feel loved?” Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and
error. But if you’re committed to finding the right medium for your message of
appreciation, you’ll eventually get it right!
Appreciation
Activates the Law of Intention
One
of the reasons for calling appreciation a “secret” of success is that it
sometimes pays dividends in indirect, yet very real, ways. According to the Law
of Intention, we attract more of what we focus on. If we’re constantly focused
on the things we don’t like about our lives, our thoughts, actions and words
will be focused on negative things we don’t want and we will tend to attract
more of exactly that into our experience. Yet if we are in the mode of
appreciation and gratitude, focusing on the things we like and appreciate and
are grateful for, we’ll attract more of the same into our lives. When we are
grateful we also become more “attractive” to others—they want to be around us
more!
Be Generous when
showing your Appreciation
Increase
your awareness of what others are doing around you. Even if another’s actions
don’t directly benefit you, be aware of things others do that you can
appreciate. Has someone created a thing of beauty? Did you overhear a mother
speaking kindly and patiently to her whining child? Is the clerk in the
checkout line dealing with rushed customers with grace? What are the ways that
you can be in the mode of appreciation throughout your day? How can you
appreciate others around you?
Appreciation Starts
with You First
To
really enjoy the benefits of showing appreciation, you must learn to show
appreciation to yourself first. In
addition to appreciating what’s happening outside you, be sure to especially
acknowledge and appreciate yourself. Even if you’re showing a lot of gratitude
and appreciation for others, when you’re constantly berating yourself or
beating yourself up internally, you’re not creating true abundance.
Give
appreciation and gratitude a whirl for the next seven days. You will not only
amaze yourself with all the things you will start to get done, but the people
around you will also seem to respond and support you far more. You really are magnificent,
appreciate yourself and everyone around you and your world will transform and
everything will positively change.
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