Let’s
face it; it’s difficult enough to maintain a positive, confident and
enthusiastic outlook in the face of setbacks and the ever changing world we
live in. So why do we sometimes add to the challenge, by hanging around in environments
that are filled with negativity and compound the challenge even further by
spending time around very negative people, whose negative attitude and behavior
we mirror? This negativity can even come through people we know—friends, family
members, colleagues, etc. Sometimes the negativity also seeps in through other
sensory input. Consider what you listen to, watch, or read. Does it lift you up
or bring you down?
Surround yourself
with positive, successful people
According
to a quote by Zig Ziglar, “You are the average of the five people you spend the
most time around.” If the five people you spend most of your time around are
focused on the negative, have a lack of confidence, see themselves as victims,
and have not been able to create success in their life. How do you think spending
time around them would affect you and your level of performance? How inspired
or driven to succeed would you be? Would you mirror their lackluster
performance and have no drive or passion to succeed? Make it your goal to begin
hanging out with people who are more successful than you are. If you want to be
successful, surround yourself with people who are positive, who have
confidence, are successful and who believe in themselves and in you.
We become like the
people we spend most of our time around
Learn from the best
There
are several ways to create the positive environment, which will lift you closer
to success, you desire.
- Find people who are successful in similar areas to the one you want to succeed in, people who have done what you hope to do and find constructive ways of spending time around these people.
- Try to identify a mentor, who can offer you guidance and support and try to spend as much time around them as possible.
- Identify what you want to learn and connect with the expert in that area, finding creative ways of spending quality time around them.
- Immerse yourself in positive listening, watching, and reading.
- Libraries and book-stores are filled with books, audio and video programs by individuals who have created the success you hope to have, invest as much time reading, listening to audio books and watching videos as possible.
- Attend events where other successful people will be and rub shoulders with them, network with them, get to know them. You never know what may come of it.
When
you actively find creative ways of spending time around the right people,
measure feedback you receive from them over time. Are you growing and are the
people you are targeting willing to spend time with you. If they are keep doing
what you are doing, if not, then look at what you have to do to grow into the
kind of person, who they will be willing to spend time around. The act of
acquiring the necessary skills or knowledge, which will make you more
attractive to everyone around you, will not only make spending time with you
more attractive, but will also help you to grow too. This grow will obviously
help you to improve the results you enjoy.
Open
your mind to soliciting feedback from as many sources as possible. Most people will not voluntarily give you
feedback because they’re uncomfortable with what might be perceived as a
confrontation. In order to see what others see, you’ll need to ask. Ask for
feedback as often as feasible, you can never get too much feedback. Be open and invite feedback from anyone, who
is in a position to offer you value.
Make the person that you require feedback from feel very safe, make then
understand that all feedback is crucial, both positive and negative. Think of negative feedback as an improvement
opportunity and ensure that you tell anyone, who you ask for feedback that negative
feedback, is also necessary to help you to grow. Make them feel comfortable,
enough to offer honest feedback as this is the only way you will really be able
to grow and improve.
Innovate to get
valuable feedback
There
are many ways to get the important feedback you need to keep you on track. You can directly ask people for constructive
feedback or you can create a system for gathering written feedback. Be creative and innovative in your thinking
in this regard, but always consider how the system will be received by the
people invited to give feedback.
When
seeking feedback, spend time to carefully consider what feedback would be of
the most value to you. Provide a good
mix of specific questions and general questions. The specific questions help
the person giving feedback know what you’re looking for, and the general
questions allow them to give you the feedback they’ve perhaps been thinking
about but haven’t yet provided to you.
Never ignore feedback
Responding to and
thanking anyone that takes the time to offer feedback, is very important. By reinforcing and encouraging feedback, you
may encourage a behavior shift in the feedback giver. They may become very open
to offering valuable and helpful feedback in the future. By showing your gratitude and letting them
know how important feedback is to you, makes them feel safe and encourages them
to continue to give you feedback in the future. Evaluate the feedback you’ve
received and put the helpful feedback into action! Ask additional questions, if
necessary, to get ideas from others how to proceed. If appropriate, let the
giver know how you plan to respond to the feedback.
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