Everything
that happens in our world is merely an event. We give each one, meaning and get
to decide whether it is positive or negative. For example: If two young
children climb onto a roller coaster. One is an adrenalin junky and loves being
out of control. The other is a more serious child, who likes their feet firmly
on the ground. Any time they are not completely in control, they feel
overwhelmed and in a state of discomfort. The roller coaster races around the
track, the adrenalin junky cannot get enough. When the event is over, or
rather, when the roller coaster gets back after the ride.
The
adrenalin junky is jumping up and down, wanting to go again. Whilst the other
more serious child, can’t wait to get off the ride and needs time to settle and
ground themselves once again. How is it possible that two people can experience
one event, namely a roller coaster ride, so differently? It is the way we are
wired, we give every event, which occurs in our lives meaning and decide
whether it is a positive or negative experience.
As
happiness is an inside job and nothing outside of you, should affect your level
of happiness, you should theoretically never allow any event to change your state.
I know this sounds like a pipe dream, but it is not as impossible as it seems.
All that is required, for you to wrestle back control of your emotions, is a
few small shifts to the way you see your world. Explore the few shifts I have
described below, adopting even one of them will help you to gain more control
over your happiness
·
Accept that
living a one sided positive life is impossible. Life is filled with challenges
and negative people. Expecting to find a world without either, is as impossible
as discovering a one sided positive magnet.
·
Create a crystal
clear vision of exactly what you want in your future. The more clarity you have
about where you are going, the easier it is to overcome challenges and manage
difficult situations or events.
·
Try to discover
“WHY” achieving your vision is important to you. Once you have a compelling
reason why something is important to you, roadblocks, challenges or negative
people, are merely stepping stones on your success journey.
·
Adopt a new
philosophy –Where you keep your eyes focused on your vision. Stop seeing events
as being” IN” your way any longer.
Shift your thinking and view every event, which crosses your path, as being “ON” your way to the future you have
envisioned. We cannot easily change the events or circumstances in our lives,
but we can change the way we view them in an instant. Take charge of your life
right now and put the power of your emotive state squarely back in your hands.
Nothing outside of you should ever hold sway over how you feel, from this
moment on.
·
Ask a better
quality of question, every time you are faced with a challenge or a negative
person. Instead of looking at the challenge or negative person and asking “Why
is this person sent to irritate me or how can I get through this situation?”
Ask a better question like “What can I learn from this person or situation or
what is causing them to behave this way?” These new more positive questions
will help you to stay positive and empower you to remain happy in the face of
challenge or even when negative people challenge you.
I believe
that the secret to happiness and joy is found in the realization that living a
one sided positive life is impossible. It is our unrealistic expectations that
we should only live this pipe dream, which puts us in a place of overwhelm. So
when the inevitable challenges do cross your path and they will, or you
encounter a challenging negative person with a bad attitude in future,
immediately make a conscious decision to take charge of the situation. Start by
asking a better more positive question about the situation and try to see every
event as a something sent to help you. When you see everything as part of your
success journey, or something which is on your way to the future you have
envisioned. You see the same event differently and you are able to find ways of
getting something from each event.
You are
in charge of how you feel; do not allow any event to overwhelm you in future.
Nothing can cause you any stress or discomfort, when you change the way you see
it. Anything which is an integral part of your success journey and is on your
way to the future you have envisioned, can never feel overwhelming. I must admit that this philosophy does not
work every time, but with practice, you will feel happy and content, far more
than you are overwhelmed and unhappy, after adopting this new philosophy.
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