Before the advent of video games and the constant bombardment of 24 hour entertainment streaming directly into our lounges, the highlight of our year was attending the carnival, when it came to town. We could hardly wait to ride the bobbing wild animals and whirl, round and round to the music that was blasting out of the old antique pipe organ. Surrounded by flashing lights and strategically placed mirrors, our hearts would race as we all competed to be the one who could reach out and grab hold of the gold ring, thereby winning another free ride. I believe that the simple act of always giving my all, trying desperately to reach out and grab that gold ring, helped give birth to my competitive spirit.
I would always compete in every sporting event I could, trying to win at all costs and overcome everyone around me, so that I could be the best and be recognised. Watching world class athletes standing on the highest pedestal in the centre of the stadium, raising their hands to the loud roar of approval from the crowd, was a huge joy for me. I would feel the pride and honour as though it was me standing on the podium. I held onto that dream of one day standing on that podium myself, wallowing in the glory.
I believe that the dream to be the best is ingrained into us from an early age. Going back to riding the merry-go round and being the one who managed to grab the gold ring. It was not just the fact that you won another free ride on the merry-go round that drove me to win; it was the fact that your name was announced over the loudspeaker and all the other kids and parents would applaud your success.
Due to the pressures placed on us to always be the best and to win at all costs, we are mistakenly led to believe that success and winning is something you earn by reaching outside of yourself. Constantly trying to prove to others that you were worthy of their praise, as you strive to prove yourself, earning more, winning all the time or attempting to perform in some special way.
This crazy notion that you need to always outperform, outmanoeuvre or outplay everyone around you, is the single biggest reason why people give up on their dreams. They are so desperately trying to win all the time, trying to earn self-worth through external praise from others, that when they are unable to be no 1 all the time and they no longer get the external praise they so desperately need, they simply give up and stop trying.
We are mistakenly led to believe that the approval of others always precedes feelings of self-worth and self-confidence and that you are only entitled to feel good about yourself after you have outperformed everyone around you. It saddens me to think how many people still live by this mistaken belief and keep themselves trapped in lives they hate, because they have not realised that the key trait needed to live a life of meaning and fulfilment is, simply creating a fundamental belief in your own internal value.
It has taken me many years to realise that the wellspring of personal and professional success is found by applying the following principals in your life:
The value you feel must be an inside job. Never rely on the opinion of others to develop your feelings of self-worth or self-confidence.
Your performance is only a reflection of your internal worth and never a measure of it.
Your own sense of value must determine the quality of your performance.
The less you strive to impress everyone around you, the more impressive you are.
Believe in your own internal value and stop looking around for approval from others. You are truly magnificent and unique and have so much to offer the world. Stop measuring your success by your external possessions or you will be constantly subject to anxiety. Do not rely on the cheers of your peers to drive your success. You can never succeed in the long run, if your concept of success depends upon always winning, offering a perfect performance every time or hearing the cheers of everyone around you.
It is very clear that good looks, talent and other attributes are not equally distributed, but the one thing none of us is ever short of, is value. We are all filled to overflowing with value, more than we could ever hope to use in several lifetimes. The game of life is never played on a level playing field, in terms of education, supportive environments, available resources and many other circumstances beyond our control, but I know that you were born with unlimited value and the ability to be the best possible version of yourself. What are you waiting for, unlock that value and become the best you can be. Note I said be the best you can be, not be the best all the time.
You were born a champion, but you have allowed yourself to be broken down by perceptions, unrealistic expectations, exposure to a judgemental environment and your need for external recognition. You came into this world a winner, but have programmed yourself to not live according to your highest potential, because of responses you have received from your environment. Recognise your internal value and use that as the foundation for achieving your full potential. Become an inner winner, believe in yourself and you can succeed at anything.
Author: Andrew Horton Business Motivational Speakers
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